Final Journal

I think I should get an A because I came prepared for class each day and participated. My group stimulated a tense, but useful discussion around the politics of inclusion in classrooms and we fostered some deep reflection in the group. I think everyone in my book club did the reading and was invested in thinking about what information needed to be covered before bringing Persepolis into the classroom.

I've been thinking a lot about how to present white privilege to suburban teens who are struggling with issues like drug and alcohol abuse as well as others. I think the struggles of the students might make them more reluctant to hear about privilege. I also have been thinking about how bringing dark texts into the classroom will effect those students. I am hearing extremely mixed opinions about whether or not it is a good or bad idea to present really dark, nihilistic texts to students who might already have nihilistic thought structures about the world.

8-4-11

I remember reading House on Mango Street my freshman year and finding it incredibly effective. Although the characters described in Sandra Cisneros's novel come from different neighborhoods, families, and cultures than I do, I still found myself compelled and invested in the literature because I could relate to it despite my lack of certain cultural capital. Similarly, in college, I read Morrison's Beloved in my Black Women Writer's class and fell in love with her wisdom and writing despite having incredibly different experiences as a person.

What struck me about both texts was the poeticism in the writing; how the feelings of the novel bled through the typeface and onto my hands holding the book and stuck to me, even after I put them down. It does not matter that I am not Latina or Black. I am a woman, I come from communities, I've suffered loss, and I have grown up. These are the things that connected me to the texts. What does matter is that I recognized that these authors and characters were Latina and Black. It created a sense of global understanding for me. As a high schooler, it made me realize how, essentially, everyone has difficulty with their home communities. The differences in my difficulties from the protagonist provided me with an insight into how familial and community relationships can function (or not) outside of my own experience and understanding.

8-3-11

The thing that struck me most about Morrison's introduction is the feeling she captures of seeing yourself represented through art. The feeling I get to Rufus Wainwright croon about his queer understanding of love, heartbreak, and home is similar to the novel's description of what the Black character experiences listening to Louie Armstrong. The representational practices of identity and the politics of the self are complicated and it takes a long time for individuals to cope with this idea. Am I compelled towards Queer literature, film, and theory because I think its fascinating, well yes. But I am more so compelled because I am Queer. I also love and am fascinated by other cultures' canons, but there is inherently less at stake for me as an individual reading those texts. I don't just mean obvious differences, I mean Southern texts, or war narrative texts, etc.
The implied literary Blackness and Whiteness that Morrison describes is also incredibly interesting to me and something that I view through my lens as well. It is obvious to me reading Dorian Gray that Basil is a gay man. It is not explicitly stated in the text, but I just know. I have a cultural currency in this text that other readers might not have. Just like, I just know that Martha in Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe is really a gay man bickering with his partner.
When texts through us for a loop- the Giovanni's Room, or Dumbledore effect- it can be shocking as a reader to encounter.

8-2-11

I was born in America and am an American citizen. Growing up, I had a lot of pride for America in elementary school whenever we would discuss events like the Civil War (being from the Land of Lincoln, this was a very proud point), World War I, and World War II. I grew up in the nineties and thought that America was the best country in the world for a long time. But, then I got to high school. I started learning about our darker past that had been hidden from me as an elementary student. I learned about how America actually knew about Concentration Camps in Germany and chose not to enter the war at the point, institutionalized racism, became politicized, realized how corrupt many of our systems as a country were, and realized that I was gay- and, therefore, a kind of outsider in my own country.
I was, to say the least, a little disenfranchized. I resented my country a little bit. But, as I ventured into college, I decided that this was a healthy response. I spent a great deal of time researching Weimar, Germany, Berlin, Christopher Isherwood, the politics of adaptation, the Holocaust, the history of the pink triangle, and the rise of Nazism. I came away with the conclusion that blind nationalism is one of the singularly most terrifying things in the world. When I see people waving the Confederate flag, feel bad for them.

back post: post #2

I was born and raised outside of Chicago, so I don't identify with traditional MN culture. I'm not Swedish, I've not eaten lye soaked fish, nor have I ever seen a moose. I had a Chicago accent which is now fading into non-descript Midwestern. I was raised Catholic, so I can recognize most biblical references in texts, but like REM, I've lost my religion.
I am a white person and my students identify me as German because of what I say when they sneeze. "Gesundheit" means "good health" and I think it is a nice sentiment. Also, I don't really like saying "bless you" because of the religious connotations. Once I was telling my students a story about a good friend of mine, a devout Jew, and one of my students interrupted me asking if I was "German, right?"
Apparently, the student thought that Germans and Jews still could not be friends because of the Nazi persecution of Jews from the 20's, 30's, 40's, and beyond. I had to explain to him that not all Germans were Nazis and not all Nazis are Germans and how there were even German Jews. This was mind blowing to him.
Because I deal with "marginalized" or "alternative" populations, I have to be transparent. My students can smell a phony from a mile away and I want to be genuine with them. In this exchange, we find mutual respect.

August 1st

I accidentally deleted my Marigolds writing. But, process is more important than product as great men have said.